Category: Doctrine

A Brother Offended

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Proverbs 18:19 A brother offended is harder to be won than a strong city: and their contentions are like the bars of a castle. 

This means that when a close relationship, like that between brothers, is broken by offence or betrayal, it is extremely difficult to repair. Winning back that trust can be more challenging than conquering a fortified city. The hurt and bitterness can build walls around the heart, just as strong as iron bars in a castle.

A brother offended by wrong dealing is harder to reconcile than taking a strong city, but brothers who stand united are stronger than a castle.

When trust is violated, especially by someone close, the wound cuts deep. Rebuilding that trust takes great effort, patience, and humility. But on the other hand, when brothers, or close companions, stand together in loyalty and love, their unity becomes a powerful defence. Just as a castle is hard to breach with its thick walls and bars, so is the bond of unity, unbreakable and resilient against outside threats.

The Lot

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Proverbs 18:18 The lot causes contentions to cease, and parts between the mighty. 

Casting lots (the Urim and Thummim) was an ancient method to resolve disputes impartially. It was often seen as a way of letting God decide (cf. Prov. 16:33).

When powerful individuals or groups couldn’t reach an agreement, they would cast lots to settle the matter peacefully, thereby avoiding conflict or bloodshed.

This verse emphasises objective means of resolving strife – removing bias and ego from the decision-making process.

Examples of using lots in Scripture: Dividing land among Israelite tribes (Joshua 18:10). Choosing Saul as king (1Sam. 10:20-24). Selecting a replacement for Judas (Acts 1:26).

There is no record of inquiring of God in this fashion after the days of David, although after the Babylonian captivity the question of who had the priestly right to use the Urim and Thummim was discussed (Ezra 2:63; Neh. 7:65). Priests were so corrupt in the days of Samuel (1Sam. 2:12-17) that God began to raise prophets to take their place in speaking to men. From Samuel’s time on, prophets were used more than priests (1Sam. 9:9; 1Kin. 22:5-8; 2Kin. 3:11; 8:8; etc.).

When human wisdom fails to resolve conflict, always turn to God in prayer and search His Word for guided answers.

Searches Him

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Proverbs 18:17 He that is first in his own cause seems just; but his neighbour comes and searches him. 

The one who speaks first in a dispute may appear to be right, simply because no other perspective has been heard. But as soon as the other side is presented, and careful questioning takes place, the truth becomes clearer. This verse warns against taking one-sided stories at face value and reminds judges, listeners, or counsellors to hear both parties.

Examples of answering first: Saul justified his disobedience before Samuel arrived, but was later exposed (1Sam. 15:13, 26). Ziba accused Mephibosheth before David, gaining favour (2Sam. 16:1-3), but Mephibosheth’s later explanation revealed a deeper truth (2Sam. 19:24-30). Tertullus flattered and falsely accused Paul before Felix (Acts 24:5-9), but Paul’s calm defence dismantled his claims (Acts 24:10-21).

Exercise discernment. Be slow to judge until all voices have been heard.

A Man’s Gift

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Proverbs 18:16 A man’s gift makes room for him, and brings him before great men. 

In ancient Near Eastern cultures, it was customary to bring gifts when approaching rulers or people of influence. It was seen as a gesture of respect, not simply bribery (though this custom could be corrupted). The proverb acknowledges this tradition: a generous or skilful offering can open doors to influential people or high positions.

While this can be literal (a physical gift), it can also apply to a man’s talents or offerings; his “gift” makes room for his advancement.

Scriptural Parallels: Jacob sent gifts ahead to appease Esau (Gen. 32:13-21). Joseph’s gifts of wisdom and dream interpretation brought him before Pharaoh (Gen. 41:14-40).

This verse highlights the practical impact of gift-giving, without endorsing manipulation or flattery.

The Prudent

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Proverbs 18:15 The heart of the prudent gets knowledge; and the ear of the wise seeks knowledge. 

‘The prudent’ [Hebrew: ʿārūm] meaning sensible, discerning: actively pursues knowledge, it’s not passive. His heart (mind, will, and inner desire) is set on gaining insight, not just accumulating facts. The wise person is also described as someone who is always listening, always learning. His ear is attuned to truth, correction, and counsel.

Wisdom and prudence are not static traits; they are marked by a constant appetite for learning. The wise person is a lifelong student, both of God and of life.

“Give instruction to a wise man, and he will be yet wiser…” (9:9)

The Spirit of a Man – Part 3

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Proverbs 18:14 The spirit of a man will sustain his infirmity; but a wounded spirit who can bear? 

The spirit is the engine of endurance. When it is strong, anchored in hope, truth, and God, it can carry us through deep valleys. But when the spirit is wounded, even minor external pressures become unbearable. It can lead to depression, spiritual confusion, or even suicidal despair. This proverb affirms the value of inner health over outward strength.

Care for the spirit as much as the body. This means cultivating hope, faith, forgiveness, joy, and perspective. Support others with wounded spirits by praying for those suffering depression or emotional trauma. Avoid harsh words and judgment; they can deepen spiritual wounds (see Proverbs 15:4).

Seek God’s healing for the inner man: “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” (Psalm 147:3)

A man with a whole spirit can survive the worst day. A man with a broken spirit may not make it through an ordinary one. God calls us to strengthen our spirits through Him, to rely not on ourselves but on His sustaining grace, even in suffering. He also calls us to be agents of healing to the wounded around us by setting a godly example as Christ did for us (1Pet. 2:21-23).

“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit” (Ps.  34:18).

The Spirit of a Man – Part 2

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Proverbs 18:14 The spirit of a man will sustain his infirmity; but a wounded spirit who can bear? 

‘But a wounded spirit who can bear?’ In contrast, a broken, crushed, or wounded spirit, whether from grief, guilt, despair, betrayal, or depression, can become unbearable. When a person’s inner life collapses, no amount of external comfort or help seems enough. This rhetorical question implies that such sorrow can be crippling and isolating. The body may be strong, but when the spirit is wounded, life itself can feel unbearable. The most devastating affliction is not always physical, but emotional and spiritual.

Examples of a wounded spirit: Cain was crushed by guilt after murdering Abel, he cried, “My punishment is greater than I can bear” (Gen.  4:13-14). Eli’s daughter-in-law, upon hearing of her husband and father-in-law’s death and the Ark’s capture, died in despair, naming her son Ichabod, meaning ‘the glory is departed.’ (1Sam. 4:19-22). Saul was overwhelmed by fear and spiritual desolation after being rejected by God (1Sam. 28:20). Ahithophel took his own life when his advice was rejected, showing his wounded pride and despair (2Sam. 17:23). Zimri burned the king’s house down upon himself in desperation, rather than face defeat (1Kin. 16:18). Pashur, after mistreating Jeremiah, was rejected and publicly humiliated, and beared the name “terror on every side” (Jer. 20:4). Judas Iscariot returned the silver and hanged himself when he was filled with guilt and shame after betraying Jesus (Matt. 27:5). To be continued…

The Spirit of a Man – Part 1

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Proverbs 18:14 The spirit of a man will sustain his infirmity; but a wounded spirit who can bear? 

This proverb teaches that inner strength, courage, and hope, the “spirit” of a man, can enable him to endure physical suffering or external hardship. The “spirit” refers to the inner person: the heart, will, emotions, and attitude. A resilient and trusting spirit gives a person the capacity to persevere through great affliction.

A strong spirit doesn’t remove pain but provides the grit to bear it with faith, patience, or even joy. When your inner person is whole and anchored, even the worst external conditions can be endured.

Examples of being sustained in infirmity:  Job – though he lost wealth, health, and children, Job still blessed the name of the Lord” (Job 1:21). Even in physical suffering, his faith-driven spirit sustained him (Job 2:8-10). Paul recounted many sufferings (beatings, shipwreck, hunger, imprisonments), yet said: “When I am weak, then am I strong” (2Cor. 12:10). His unshakable trust in Christ gave him strength through extreme trials (2Cor 11:23-33). To be continued…

Folly and Shame – Part 2

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Proverbs 18:13 He that answers a matter before he hears it, it is folly and shame unto him. 

Here are four scriptural examples where people judged or acted rashly before fully hearing or knowing the facts: David hastily gave Ziba all of Mephibosheth’s land based on his one-sided report. Later, David realised he had misjudged Mephibosheth, who had remained loyal, resulting in a sense of injustice and regret (2Sam. 16:4; 19:24-30). Ahasuerus gave Haman authority to destroy the Jews without fully investigating the matter. This hasty decree nearly led to the destruction of an innocent people (Est. 3:10). King Darius signed a decree (manipulated by jealous officials) that led to Daniel being cast into the lions’ den. After realising the trap, Darius regretted acting too quickly (Dan. 6:9). The Magistrates at Philippi had Paul and Silas beaten and imprisoned without trial. When the magistrates later discovered they were Roman citizens, they were filled with fear and shame and tried to quietly dismiss them (Acts 16:37-39).

Listening precedes wisdom. Proverbs repeatedly teaches that wisdom begins with hearing, not speaking (cf. Pro. 18:2; Jas. 1:19). Justice requires both sides to be heard (cf. Pro. 18:17). Hasty answers misrepresent truth, damage relationships, and discredit one’s reputation.

In conversations: Pause and let others speak fully before forming a response. Ask clarifying questions instead of making assumptions. In conflict: Avoid jumping to conclusions or reacting emotionally without hearing all perspectives. In leadership or parenting: Don’t discipline or decide before gathering full context. Justice depends on careful listening. In social media or news: Don’t react based on headlines or snippets. Seek full context before forming or expressing an opinion.

Wise people are listeners before they are speakers; fools are talkers before they are thinkers. “Let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath” (Jas. 1:19).

Folly and Shame – Part 1

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Proverbs 18:13 He that answers a matter before he hears it, it is folly and shame unto him. 

This refers to someone who jumps to conclusions, interrupts, or gives an opinion or judgment without first listening fully to the facts or both sides of an issue. The Hebrew word for “heareth” (shamaʿ) implies attentive, discerning listening, not just physically hearing, but understanding.

To “answer” before hearing suggests rashness, presumption, and impulsiveness, traits that are both intellectually careless and relationally damaging.

This proverb highlights a violation of justice, wisdom, and humility: you cannot rightly respond to what you don’t fully understand. “It is folly and shame unto him”

Folly (ivveleth in Hebrew) here denotes not just silliness, but moral and practical stupidity, a failure in wisdom. Shame (kelimmah) implies disgrace, public humiliation, or embarrassment resulting from such foolish behaviour.

The person who rushes to speak reveals his ignorance and earns dishonour; not only is he wrong, but he is also humiliated.

To be continued…